Being broke is depressing. I start having all kinds of morbid thoughts about everything, and just kind of drag around listlessly. Once ISS had stopped the shift premium for working nights (which I was *promised* I would continue to get), I hadn’t even been making it from payday to payday without Aaron’s help. I should get my second check from Ajilon tomorrow, and now that I’m getting paid more and weekly that should help a lot. Plus, I don’t have any major expenses coming up (birthdays, social events, etc.). It’s weird how vulnerable and powerless I feel when I’m po’. It sucks; I feel like I should be dressed in black and moping around the City Club with a glass of angst and soda in my hand.
Much like several people in my circle of bloggers, I haven’t written anything in here in awhile. A lot has been happening, but the urge to write about it just hasn’t been there. Oh well, it goes in cycles, like everything else. I guess that because there’s so much I could write about, the thought of sitting here and catching up on everything is overwhelming, so I just don’t bother. Plus I’ve become nearly paranoid about surfing at work, which sucks.
Aaron and I are still debating where in Europe we want to move to next year, and are still planning on taking German lessons at OCC in the fall, but now the possibility of going to London (suburb of London, technically) has surfaced. It still most likely wouldn’t happen until next year, but it would be very cool and I already speak the language. Mostly. Granted, Germany or Amsterdam would be more exotic, but there’s that whole language thing. Although our friend Keith’s boyfriend managed to get by in Germany without speaking much of the language; had a job and everything.
Other than the two days a week we work out with the trainer, we’ve pretty much stopped exercising, and are barely keeping our eating under control, which is discouraging. I’ve developed a heel spur, which stops me from running if I want to be able to walk afterward. I’ll have to suck it up and use the elliptical or the bike in the clubhouse, which is boring as hell. Running around the lake gives me some scenery, and a finish line to shoot for. Stationary cardio in front of a mirror gives me nothing to look at but myself, and I’m not nearly narcissistic enough to enjoy that for long. The alternative is putting the weight back on, and that’s not acceptable. We haven’t even been practicing our kickboxing on off days. There’s always some reason we don’t get to it. Pretty lame.
Well, the boss has rolled in, so time to look busy.