Sep 202004

The other night I saw a commercial for “body spray” for men, by Gillette or Mennen (we’ll just call them Gillennen for convenience; they’re pretty much the same company anyway). Body spray, for the unenlightened or previously uninterested, is basically full-coverage cologne. If your man-funk is overwhelming the standard arsenal of male hygiene: deodorant, aftershave, cologne, and/or mouthwash, then presumably you need this.

I recall when this stuff was first marketed years ago, and only to women. I have this single remembered mental image of a bare female torso leisurely spraying her tummy with aerosol. So leisurely, in fact, that most of the spray actually went into the air on either side of her. Presumably you could get the same effect, with a lot less waste, by rubbing a Glade solid air freshener all over yourself, but I digress.

Now, years later, some MBA-of-the-Week at Gillennen has decided to resurrect the full-contact odor eater and figured out a way to push it on their primary demographic: straight men.

Cut to commercial: a white guy and a black guy are sitting on a couch, watching “the game” and whooping it up. Their long suffering wives/girlfriends are sitting at the kitchen table, bitching about their testosterone-saturated lives, when the white guy ducks into the kitchen and gives his girl (the white one, go figure) a big hug and grunts something along the lines of “love you babe”. The girl inhales and is cast adrift on waves of dreamy bliss by the presence of her artificially scented man. Suddenly all is forgiven, and men are once again supreme objects of desirability. Not that they weren’t already. haha.

So guys, get yourself a can of Gillennen’s Stank-B-Gone, douse yourself like you’re priming charcoal for the grill, and start forgetting birthdays and anniversaries with wild abandon. One whiff, and your magical odeur will incite forgiveness and lust in equal measures.

Future marketing hacks, remember! Dress up anything, no matter how unmanly, in sports, women, or beer, and you’ve got yourself a winner.

 Posted by at 3:51 pm
Sep 202004

For some reason my usual morning dose of diet Coke is making me jumpier than normal. I’ve done the work I need to take care of, there’s nothing I want to surf, so I’m just sitting here buzzing. I would say “vibrating”, but those of you with dirty minds (i.e. everyone I know) would take that the wrong way. πŸ˜›

Saturday we went to the Renaissance Festival for the Fantasy Feast held in the castle. It was more fun than I expected, and the food wasn’t bad. Started off with some kind of small strawberry pastry with a cream sauce on it, then a really small salad, tomato bisque in a breadbowl, and a really good standing pork roast with a cranberry based glaze with veggies. Dessert was a really rich vanilla ice cream/fudge brownie cake. The beer and wine was everflowing and we all left stuffed and more than a bit buzzed. I’ll get the pictures posted once I’ve collected everything everyone took.

Sunday was lazy day. Ran laundry, did my German homework, and mostly played games. It was beautiful yesterday and I hated to spend most of it inside, but there was really nowhere to go. Saw the trainer at 1:30 but Aaron is really jetlagged from his Japan trip, so he begged off.

 Posted by at 12:48 pm
%d bloggers like this: