Yesterday Eric and I finally embarked on our long delayed quest to make me look more fabulous. My gay chromosomes are missing the fashion gene so I enlisted Eric’s help in dressing me, since he always looks cute and trendy. Chancellor of the Exchequer roadster_guy determined that we could spare $250, plus the Somerset gift card that _kosh_ and his man so thoughtfully gave us for our wedding (thanks again guys!).
First stop: Gap. That’s where the bulk of the money got spent on two pair of jeans, two button-downs, and two polos. I choked on the price of the jeans, since there was no sale going on, but they looked too good to pass up, especially since two of my current three pair of jeans are horribly out of date and getting too short. Then it was off to Hollister, where Eric picked up a couple things and bought me a flat leather wristband, but I didn’t get anything else there except an eyeful of hot boys, which swarm around Somerset like a cloud of thin and trendy flies with fun hair. We breezed into, and rather quickly back out of, Club Monaco, Nordstrom, Banana Republic, Abercrombie, and Saks Off 5th, since the sticker shock actually caused my higher brain functions to shut down for a moment. I briefly envisioned feeding an entire African village for a year with the cost of a single leather jacket from B.R., before retreating back to the shallow end of the thought pool to debate whether I should cave to the latest re-trend of wearing flip-flops. The final answer was “No”.
Then we spent some time in Express Gay, er, Express Men, and I walked out with a black pinstriped button-down and a pair of dark tan chinos. I had a package to pick up at the FedEx delivery office near Great Lakes Crossing, since they wouldn’t leave it without a signature, so we left Somerset and headed north. I thought it was the new memory I had ordered for our computers, but it turned out to be the first shipment of wine from the gift subscription Aaron’s sister had given us for the wedding! This explained why I had to sign for it or pick it up in person. As I was halfway to the car the counter woman came out and called me back. My memory was also there and scheduled to be dropped off today, so they just gave it to me then.
At GLC we hit the Guess outlet, stared at the hot posters, and found a belt I liked. I left it behind in case we found something better. We stopped in Wilson’s Leather for a bit, since they had messenger bags on sale, but didn’t find one I really liked. mrimp is hankerin for a motorcycle and tried on some leather racing jackets, and I complimented the twinky salesboy on his rainbow bracelet. *smirk*
To cut a long story short, we didn’t find anything else we liked that was affordable without selling a kidney, I went back for the belt, and we headed home so I could make my 10 p.m. conference call with Singapore that no one showed up for. Grand.
We gave Aaron a brief fashion show with the stuff I bought, plus some stuff that Eric gave me from his infinite wardrobe. He liked some of it but, as I suspected, thought most of it was “not me”. Now he’s not allowed to wear any of it.
Oh, and after passing about the sixth guy in three days out running shirtless and looking really good doing it, Eric and I swore an oath to have flat bellies by September 1st, so you’re all witnesses to this. Frightening “before” and (hopefully) sexy “after” pics will be posted on 9/1 and, if I ever get caught up on Singapore and wedding pictures, pics of the new clothes will go up as well.