Feb 162007

Since my man was in Toronto over Valentine’s Day mine was spent flying solo, which was ok since we’re not really that big on it. After the gym, a shower, and some gaming, mrimp and odysseyseven arrived and whisked me off to CPK at Somerset for some gourmet pizza. After we’d stuffed ourselves, we ventured to Eastern Market in downtown Detroit to take in The Dirty Show: an “erotic art” exhibition, now in it’s eighth year.

You’d think that by the eighth year it might be a good show. You’d be wrong.

1) 99.999% of the art and photographs were of women. Great if you’re a lesbian or a straight guy, yawn-inducing if you’re not. I know this point is very subjective, but still, a little more equal time would have been nice.

2) The quality of the aforementioned artwork and photographs was, shall we say… Fuck it. Let’s be blunt: I think most of it sucked. Junior year students at CCS can, and do, create more interesting art than the majority of the artists on display there. Massive mediocrity was the rule.

3) Lack of eroticism. There was plenty of nudity, but almost nothing that grabbed my attention, or that I considered erotic. There was one painting of two young guys standing naked at a urinal trough with their backs to the viewer, with one of them openly looking over and down at the other’s junk, that was very cute and erotic in an innocent way but, honestly, that’s the only piece that stood out (pardon the expression) among the entire lot.

Seriously people, how many possible angles and states can a cooter be displayed in before it loses all impact?

4) The “performance art”, at least the night we were there, consisted of a slightly hunky fratbear giving an extemporaneous rant about the shittiness of Valentine’s Day, at speaker volumes so high that my brain refused to process it, and the only phrase I remember hearing was, “Sorry about cumming in your eye!”

Apology accepted.

The previous “entertainment” was a transvestite in a thong, fishnets, a wig, and electrical tape on his/her nipples, playing guitar and singing. Again, the words didn’t process, but I vaguely remember that it didn’t seem to suck too badly.

An attractive young woman then did a striptease using a pair of Japanese umbrellas, which was pretty good if you like that kind of thing.

5) The “special guest artist exhibit” was by H.R. Giger. This consisted of three paintings and four sketches, which Herr Giger probably dug out of a dusty bin in his basement marked “Cyborg Vaginas” and dropped in the nearest UPS box.

Maybe it’s just me. My idea of erotic has gotten a lot more complex over the years, and most of what I saw at the show really just lacked sophistication, or an appreciation of the fine line between eroticism and porn.

I just noticed that the show’s been held over for one more night. Maybe they’re trying to recover losses?

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