Aug 102007
 

I usually go to Rotten Tomatoes for my movie reviews, and the Tomatometer is rarely wrong (Starsky & Hutch being a notable exception. 72%? Seriously?).

What’s really fun is reading the reviews of the truly awful films that get shoveled out the Hollywood door. Sometimes what the critics say about a bad flick is more entertaining than anything in the movie itself, so when I saw that Daddy Day Camp got an abysmal 02%, I had to read the verdicts. This is the one that nearly made me spew water at the screen:

“Some would argue that kids aren’t as jaded as adults, and will enjoy an agonizingly unfunny experience like Daddy Day Camp just fine. Using the same rationale, you could feed them Alpo.” — Colin Covert, Minneapolis Star Tribune

Some other gems:

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (0%)
“You’ll have more fun setting fire to yourself in the parking lot. You’ll be more entertained getting hit by a bus.” — Rob Vaux, Flipside Movie Emporium

Alone in the Dark (1%)
“The three stars have seen better days, but I’d like to think they could still do something classier and more dignified than this. Like gay porn.” — Rob Vaux, again

Battlefield Earth (3%)
“Watching Battlefield Earth is to a movie-watching experience what having a yeast infection is to having sex.” — Mark Bourne, DVDJournal.com

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