16 oz. water
2.5 scoops of soy protein powder
1 banana (for insulin spike)
2 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp Splenda
4-6 ice cubes
Add water, protein powder, cocoa powder, and Splenda to blender.
Break up banana and add to blender.
Add ice cubes..to…
Lecture husband about leaving all the ice cube trays empty when he used them last.
Refill ice trays. Grumbling optional.
Put lid on blender and start on low power.
Noticing lack of movement inside, switch to medium power.
Detecting the smell of ozone from the struggling motor, stop the blender.
Add another 8 oz. of water.
Blend on high until mixture tries to escape its confines and roam the city. Should this occur, don’t worry: the first time it tries to find parking in Ann Arbor, it will return gratefully to the blender.
Pour contents into large cup, and peer cautiously over the rim until the bubbling subsides. Carefully take an experimental sip to check if the level of "icky" exceeds the drinkability threshold.
Pleasantly surprised that this concoction doesn’t suck as badly as expected, pour the chocolate-banana-soy cement mix down your throat, congratulate yourself on your dedication to the art of lifting heavy things, and try not to think about how you long to order a pizza.