Apr 032011
 

I was sitting at my desk at night. I looked at my bottle of Adderall and suddenly took one out and swallowed it. I was shocked at what I’d done and yelled at myself, “What are you doing? You’ll never get to sleep now!”

No sooner had I finished lecturing myself, I took another one. After more ranting, I decided to go make myself throw them back up. That accomplished, I sat back down at the desk to think about why I was doing this. I contemplated the bottle and, seconds after doing so, my hands moved of their own volition to take out another capsule, which I promptly swallowed. It was as if my hands and mouth were operating completely independent of my brain, and merely looking at, or even thinking about, Adderall made them take one.

By the fourth capsule, I realized I was dreaming, but was suddenly unsure whether I had taken any in real life, as dreaming and waking started to blur together. When I woke up, I had to think about it for a few seconds to sort it out, as there were no fantastical elements in the dream to make it obvious.

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