Apr 302009

While I was looking for new work I had my resume posted on multiple job sites like Monster and CareerBuilder. I discovered that spambots troll the job sites as well as everywhere else.

Note that my resume title clearly stated "Network Security Technician". Disconnect, anyone?

Hello Ryan,

I am looking for a Hair Stylist, preferably with some client base already established. Full or part time positions available with flexible hours, including evenings and Saturday. This position offers competitive pay plus benefits, which we can discuss at the time you decide to interview.

Ryan, to avoid being flooded with applications and responses, I have only extended this opportunity to a few people. Your online resume caught my attention, and I would like to start the interview process as soon as I possibly can. I am eager to hear back from you today, if at all possible. By clicking the hyperlink below, you can view more information about the position, benefits offered, our company, and send in your application as an interested candidate.

I would like to learn more about the Hair Stylist opening.

I hope to hear back from you later today!

Good Luck,

L. Barclay
Hiring Manager

"Your online resume caught my attention…"

I love it. The rest of that sentence should obviously have been, "…but I couldn’t be bothered to actually read it, so I’m just going to spam the shit out of everyone on Monster.com."

I should have applied anyway:

"I can install and configure your Check Point firewall and web proxy service, and then give you a FABulous weave!"

Apr 292009

As I’ve already blasted across Twitter and Facebook, I got the firewall job at U of M!!  *SQUEEEEEE*

Start date probably May 11th, decent bump in pay from what I was making at Chrysler, with actual pay raises! The only weird thing is getting paid once a month, which will take some getting used to.

So we have a lot to do. Instead of spending good chunks of my day scouring for a job, now we have to scour for a house in Ann Arbor. With a garage. For motorcycles. 😀

OMG this is such a weight off my shoulders. Thanks to everyone who gave me leads or accepted my resume over the last three weeks. I truly appreciate it. Now I have to shut off my resume at about six different job websites. LOL

Mar 262009

Thought I’d answer everyone’s comments from my last post at once instead of repeating myself 8 times. hehe

Thanks to everyone for the words of support and encouragement; it’s really appreciated. I’m doing better today now that the shock has sort of worn off. A couple folks have already gotten leads for me, and I have some more targets for my resume. Though some were no longer available or weren’t a proper fit for me, it shows that there is still work out there for a firewall nerd. I had felt, irrationally, bad about being laid off but everyone’s comments reassure me otherwise, and Aaron pointed out that it was an accomplishment to last as long as I did, considering 35% of the company quit or was let go before I was.

Aaron and I kind of saw this coming so our contingency plan will keep us comfortably afloat for about 6 months unless some catastrophe happens. It will certainly make us look more closely at possible jobs out of Michigan, because this place is dying. There are no traffic jams to speak of anymore; if you go through the smaller towns or cities, many of them are almost gone or are increasingly boarded up. It’s a sad state of affairs.

The boss and coworkers are taking me to lunch Tuesday, my last day. Maybe I’ll get drunk at Buffalo Wild Wings and go home from there. Not driving myself of course.

Aug 122008

I just got a ticket in our system requesting that a bunch of websites be opened up for unrestricted access for the next two weeks. Stuff like monster.com, job-hunt.org, salary.com…

Sounds like someone got or gave a 2-week notice! I sent the ticket to my boss for a good laugh.

Me: Want a laugh? Check out this ticket requesting some free proxy entries be opened for two weeks.
Boss: I heard
Me: Would it be cruel to call the guy and just giggle at him?
Boss: no tell him to open a (formal change request)
Boss: and then I’ll reject it

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