Apr 302009

While I was looking for new work I had my resume posted on multiple job sites like Monster and CareerBuilder. I discovered that spambots troll the job sites as well as everywhere else.

Note that my resume title clearly stated "Network Security Technician". Disconnect, anyone?

Hello Ryan,

I am looking for a Hair Stylist, preferably with some client base already established. Full or part time positions available with flexible hours, including evenings and Saturday. This position offers competitive pay plus benefits, which we can discuss at the time you decide to interview.

Ryan, to avoid being flooded with applications and responses, I have only extended this opportunity to a few people. Your online resume caught my attention, and I would like to start the interview process as soon as I possibly can. I am eager to hear back from you today, if at all possible. By clicking the hyperlink below, you can view more information about the position, benefits offered, our company, and send in your application as an interested candidate.

I would like to learn more about the Hair Stylist opening.

I hope to hear back from you later today!

Good Luck,

L. Barclay
Hiring Manager

"Your online resume caught my attention…"

I love it. The rest of that sentence should obviously have been, "…but I couldn’t be bothered to actually read it, so I’m just going to spam the shit out of everyone on Monster.com."

I should have applied anyway:

"I can install and configure your Check Point firewall and web proxy service, and then give you a FABulous weave!"

Apr 292009

As I’ve already blasted across Twitter and Facebook, I got the firewall job at U of M!!  *SQUEEEEEE*

Start date probably May 11th, decent bump in pay from what I was making at Chrysler, with actual pay raises! The only weird thing is getting paid once a month, which will take some getting used to.

So we have a lot to do. Instead of spending good chunks of my day scouring for a job, now we have to scour for a house in Ann Arbor. With a garage. For motorcycles. 😀

OMG this is such a weight off my shoulders. Thanks to everyone who gave me leads or accepted my resume over the last three weeks. I truly appreciate it. Now I have to shut off my resume at about six different job websites. LOL

Nov 072008

I noticed the "Apply Now" link on Obama’s transition site under the Jobs section, but they don’t list exactly what jobs are available yet.

Aaron: "And what would you do for the Obama-Biden Empire?
             er… administration
             er… collective

Me: "Hope Enforcer"

Aaron: "ROFL
             Hope Enforcement Officer.
             Worldwide Hope Officer, Republican Enforcement."

Aaron: "yes, that’s right, WHORE"

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